[Morthoron]

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

To like teh dude who owns the paper or whatever:

Ummm...I was, like, reading your paper (as if!), and I, like, read where you were saying stuff, like, about having everyone talking foreign and stuff. And I said ummm, like, WHOA! It took me years to like speak like normal, you know? And like, I aint got time to start speaking like some Englishy-type person. Where are they from anyway?

And then my GF (ummm...not like I'm lesbo or something, she's like a good friend, you know?), and you know what she said? She said, like, British stuff is just like American speaking only it sounds funny, and I said, like, whatever, and she said whatever back, and then we watched this dorky Britishy movie about little guys called habits, and all the guys in the movie had like beards and swords and wore dresses or robes or something, and they had this big eye ball, like, shoved on top of a tower (which I guess is, like, how they get cell phone service, or whatever) and my GF (just a friend, K?) said that all the dudes in England wore dresses and stuff, cos her uncle is from Scotsdale or Scotlin or something and thats just like England 'cept they talk even weirder. And I said no way! and she said way! So I guess it's true. But that Leggo-my-eggo guy in the movie was, like, pretty hot, and he wasnt wearing a dress so he's, like, awright.

Anyways, why don't you guys like speak American, cos I have to, like, go shopping and stuff, so I got no time to, like, learn and stuff, KK?

BRB AFK,
Tiffani Blatherskite
LA USA