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Raynor: Whatever strong feelings she had, it was Elrond, not Galadriel, who planned out and marched against Sauron in a ten years war.
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You mean the Last Alliance war? It was actually a twelve- years war, 3429-3441
I think Galadriel was not there first and foremost because she was a woman. Eldar never normally send their women to fight - neither Melian, nor Galadriel, nor Aredhel ever actively participated in battles of the First Age. As far as we know, Galadriel only took a sword once in her life - in Alqualonde.
Another reason is perhaps that at the time, neither she, not Celeborn had any people of their own to lead to battle. I have an impression that Celeborn wasn't in the Last Alliance fights either.
But staying behind only makes one more bitter, IMO.
Note also that after the victory Galadriel went to Dol Guldur and brought its walls down (with relish
).
As for the "soft spot" - I agree that a vendetta-like disposition is a character flaw, making one more vulnerable to Enemy. Simply I wouldn't call it a "soft" spot.
Take Celeborn and his attitude to Dwarves. He got much more personal in his dislike than an average elf like Legolas. I don't think it made him "softer" but it caused a lot of problems for his neighbours and himself. Had he given some support or advice to Balin et al., perhaps the attempt to re-colonise Moria wouldn't have failed so tragically.
And don't you agree with Ibrin and me that Galadriel seemed to be much more tempted by the Master Ring than Elrond?