Really interesting comparisons there, Bethberry, and ones to ponder. I hadn't thought about the parenting thing in Pullman but you are right, it is odd. Then there's Will having to look after his own mother, too.
I will allow myself a brief quibble, though.
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The only two who come close in their arrogance, pride and conceit are Luthien's father Thingol and Turin's mother Morwen Eledhwen.
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Asriel/Thingol I will accept, but my own interpretation of the characters makes it hard for me to see parallels between Morwen and Coulter. Coulter was sinister and entirely self-seeking, and her eventual mothering instinct is as much of a surprise to her as it is to the reader. Morwen loved her children very much, but these were terrible times and she was purposefully trying to bring them up to be tough and hard, just so they would have some chance of survival. She made mistakes and she had become very bitter, but I don't think she was remotely conceited.