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When Javan reached the room that he and Thornden shared, the first thing he did was to carefully take off his shirt. It was covered in ashes, suet, and smoke. He went then to the basin of water and began to clean his face, neck, hands and arms.
The job was only just begun when Thornden came in. Javan stopped when he entered and turned to look at his brother. Thornden did not address him and after a pause, the boy went back to his washing.
The silence between them stretched on for several seconds. The water sloshed gently in the bowl as Javan scrubbed himself. Then he spoke, quietly, hesitantly. “I am sorry, Thornden,” he said. “You do know that, don’t you?” Thornden didn’t make much of an answer. Javan put his hands on the edge of the basin stand and turned his head to look at his older brother. “Look, just ‘cause I asked him if I could stay doesn’t mean that I don’t realize what I’ve done.”
“The fact that you think that saying you’re sorry will suffice shows me that you don’t realize what you’ve done, Javan,” Thornden replied.
Javan turned his head away and two emotions flared up – anger and remorse both. Thornden was being unreasonable. He wouldn’t listen. He would not accept any sort of apology. And at the same time, Javan wondered if he should. He had been terribly stupid and had done a very terrible thing, and he was sorry for it.
Thornden looked at his skinny back and hunched shoulders before turning away himself. “Léof lost a horse, you know,” he said finally.
Javan whirled about. “He did?” It was the first he had heard about it. “Who?”
Thornden shook his head and shrugged up his shoulders. “I don’t know. All I know is that I stopped him from trying to save her, and he’s terribly hurt by it. And if it weren’t for you-” He turned about abruptly, prepared to launch into some long lecture or scolding, but the look on his brother’s face stopped him. Javan gasped and dashed away his tears. He looked at the ground.
“That is why he was angry tonight,” Javan said, “and didn’t let me help with the horses.”
“I’m sure that’s not his only reason,” Thornden muttered.
Javan turned away again, finally so overcome that he couldn’t speak any more, and thrust his hands back into the darkened water. After a while, he found his voice again. “Does lord Eodwine know?”
“About the horse? Yes.”
Javan nodded, mute again. New doubts crept into his mind as he finished washing away the traces of the fire. He wondered what the morning would bring. If Eodwine did not send him home, what would happen to him? He would have to wait until morning and he would have to try to sleep. As he laid himself down and turned in his bed, he knew it would likely be a long, very sleepless night.
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