[the phantom]

CHRISTOPHER TOLKIEN ANNOUNCES RELEASE OF JRRT’S SECRET LOTR SEQUELS

The literary world experienced an earthquake today when J R R Tolkien’s son, Christopher, announced the existence of a series of Lord of the Rings sequels, penned in secret by JRRT towards the end of his life.

“You have no idea how badly I’ve been wanting to spill the beans on this,” said CT , “But my father made me promise not to let the secret out until all the novels were ready for release.”

The new series is expected to nullify certain portions of the Appendix of LOTR- primarily the sections regarding the years directly following the fall of the Dark Lord. CT admits that this may anger some fans, but insists that they won’t mind once they are immersed in the new stories.

Few plot details have been released, but the public has been told that the book series is seven books in length, and begins approximately ten years after the Dark Lord’s defeat. The stories primarily follow Frodo Baggins, the famous “Hobbit who lived”. The first major plot detail that was released was a bombshell- the Dark Lord was not permanently vanquished! Perhaps his “One Ring” was only one of many anchors to this world?

CT says that the first novel, which will be released next month, is fairly light, in the style of The Hobbit, but adds that the novels will gain both length and maturity as the series progresses. Also promised is a detailed look into the pasts of some of the more familiar characters.

“Honestly, that’s what is best about these new books- learning more about the characters we have grown to love so much,” says CT. “For instance, we find out that Gandalf, long before his famous wizarding duel with the evil dark wizard Saruman, was actually friends with Saruman in his youth! Oh, and we also find out that Sauron himself had a hand in the unfortunate deaths of Frodo’s parents. And yes, for those who’ve been asking, the Morgul-blade scar left on Frodo’s shoulder is very significant to the tale.”

As much as CT has answered, there is much more that he has refused to comment on. In particular, he would not take any questions regarding Elrond, Gandalf’s hook-nosed greasy-haired right hand man whose loyalty was always in question- until, of course, he showed up unexpectedly at the Paths of the Dead and presented Aragorn with the sword Anduril, and thus proved his loyalty. Or did he?

There are many theories as to why CT will not comment on this and other points, but doubtless we will have the answers after the seventh book is released. In the meantime, be sure and read The Downer every day for the latest on the LOTR sequels.