What they say
Yes, CT has been victim of some very bad publicity I think, and it's unfair considering that he has devoted his life to keeping us supplied with books like HoME. Some might say that this has given him a job for life and an income etc but on the other hand, I certainly would not like to be the one responsible for keeping the uber-critical Tolkien fans supplied with new texts and caretaking the unpublished work. It seems a thankless task to me.
The Tolkien family in general are very respectful of the Professor's memory, kindly souls to fans and just because they do not wish to make a big fuss about the great man himself, does not mean they are 'cold fish'!