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Damrod · 04-09-2007, 04:07 PM

I considered writing a serious, thoughtful post for the Books forum, but thought better of it. We go now to the highest circle of Minas Tirith...

Denethor: My son is dead. My line is ended...

Faramir: Dad, seriously! you're embarassing me!

Pippin: (checks Faramir's pulse) I think he's alive!

Denethor: The House of Stewards has failed.

Pippin: (to Guards of the Fountain) Can't you do somehing? He's not dead!

Guard: Sorry, we're busy. We've got to keep this withered tree under constant guard. And anyway, it's kind of funny.

Denethor: My line has ended.

Pippin: I know who could help us-Beregond! Now, where has he gotten off to?

*Peter Jackson steps into shot.*

PJ:Pip, about that...I'll tell you later. O.K., let's take it from 'My line has ended'.

Cameraman: Pete, you didn't say cut. We're still rolling.

PJ: Eh, whatever. Just keep going. I'll have the VFX people turn me into something awesome. I'll put it in the Extended Edition. *exits*

Fountain Guard: Haven't we just done that 'the cameras are still on' gag?
(points at me)
You're a terrible scriptwriter! I'll—

Guard 2:Enough! What about the epic battle scene?! Get on with it!

Faramir: Get on with it!

Gandalf: Get on with it!

Orc Horde: Get on with it!

Denethor: My line has ended...

Guard: (muttering) we've gotten that far...

*Denethor looks out over the ledge. He happens to spot Sauron's army. The 250,000 orcs are formed to spell out 'BOO!'

Denethor: Ah! Abandon your posts! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

Muttering Soldier: to where?

*Gandalf appears from nowhere and institutes a quick regime change.*

Gandalf: They say you should be a sage. They say you shouldn't interfere. But sometimes you just have to sneak up on an old man and bludgeon him with a stick.

Fountain Guard: The grey wanderer has just knocked the lord we have sworn unswerving fealty to unconscious. What do you think we should do?

Fountain Guard 2: Let's wait a bit, and then help him roast himself and his dying son alive on a pyre.

Fountain Guard: Sounds like a plan.

NEXT UP: Certain characters enact another one of the stirring adaptions from book to film, I think.

04-09-2007, 04:07 PM	#239
Damrod Animated Skeleton Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 30	I considered writing a serious, thoughtful post for the Books forum, but thought better of it. We go now to the highest circle of Minas Tirith... Denethor: My son is dead. My line is ended... Faramir: Dad, seriously! you're embarassing me! Pippin: (checks Faramir's pulse) I think he's alive! Denethor: The House of Stewards has failed. Pippin: (to Guards of the Fountain) Can't you do somehing? He's not dead! Guard: Sorry, we're busy. We've got to keep this withered tree under constant guard. And anyway, it's kind of funny. Denethor: My line has ended. Pippin: I know who could help us-Beregond! Now, where has he gotten off to? Peter Jackson steps into shot. PJ:Pip, about that...I'll tell you later. O.K., let's take it from 'My line has ended'. Cameraman: Pete, you didn't say cut. We're still rolling. PJ: Eh, whatever. Just keep going. I'll have the VFX people turn me into something awesome. I'll put it in the Extended Edition. exits Fountain Guard: Haven't we just done that 'the cameras are still on' gag? (points at me) You're a terrible scriptwriter! I'll— Guard 2:Enough! What about the epic battle scene?! Get on with it! Faramir: Get on with it! Gandalf: Get on with it! Orc Horde: Get on with it! Denethor: My line has ended... Guard: (muttering) we've gotten that far... Denethor looks out over the ledge. He happens to spot Sauron's army. The 250,000 orcs are formed to spell out 'BOO!' Denethor: Ah! Abandon your posts! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! Muttering Soldier: to where? Gandalf appears from nowhere and institutes a quick regime change.* Gandalf: They say you should be a sage. They say you shouldn't interfere. But sometimes you just have to sneak up on an old man and bludgeon him with a stick. Fountain Guard: The grey wanderer has just knocked the lord we have sworn unswerving fealty to unconscious. What do you think we should do? Fountain Guard 2: Let's wait a bit, and then help him roast himself and his dying son alive on a pyre. Fountain Guard: Sounds like a plan. NEXT UP: Certain characters enact another one of the stirring adaptions from book to film, I think. __________________ There's going to be a Beowulf movie?