[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Due to popular total absence of interest, I've prevailed upon myself to compose further additions to this vital tool of scholarship.

Q: Why 'Middle-earth'?

A: In Magdalen College (actually pronounced Muslin Collage), the Senior Common Room and Junior Common Room lie on opposite sides of the main building. C.S. Lewis' rooms, being placed directly between them, constituted a 'middle hearth' (all these rooms were heated by fireplaces). Being a family man, Tolkien quickly came to regard the bachelor's study as a fairy-tale wonderland, in which knocking out one's pipe on the furniture, drinking dangerous amounts of crusted port and belching names from Norse literature were permissible. Lewis' marriage therefore constituted a threat to this escape route, which is why his wife became the model for Sauron.

Q: On which academic subjects did Tolkien publish?

A: His scholarly works include A Post-Structuralist Analysis of Sino-Japanese Military Law 1804-1912 (1924), The Existentialism of Beatrix Potter (1931), Geoffrey of Monmouth: Pioneer of Historical Realism (1942) and Arthur's Economic Policy: a Numismatic Reconsideration (1949). He was also one of the contributors to Eustacia Psmyth's pioneering work: Demn'd Elusive: Baroness Orczy and the Theology of the Early Orthodox Church (1951). Much of this work was so ground-breaking that scholarship has yet to catch up with it.

Q: What was the TCBS?

A: These initials stand for 'Tripe Crumble, Beans and Sprouts'. This was Tolkien's favourite item on the menu of R.N. Dill's Cafe, Birmingham. While still a boy, he formed a secret society based on the appreciation of this unusual delicacy.