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Gimli to Legolas: "You do realise that as you and Gandalf have no helms, you will be at a severe disadvantage in battle? The orks will flock to your weakness!"
Legolas: "Shouldn't be a problem; the Mouth just keeps talking... and talking... and talking... and talking... I've given up hoping that Aragorn will abandon common courtesy and chop his head off."
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I prefer history, true or feigned.
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