Well I wouldn't let it upset you Folwren, I read it that the vows were the essential part of the ceremony - as they are now, and that the act of union was the consummation ie "completion" - as is regarded by the Catholic church now. I think LACE is perhaps the most Catholic of all Tolkiens writings on Middle Earth. I don't know what "better" you can ask of the Elves than making a binding and indisoluble commitment to one other person for ever - and ever being the duration of the world. If you read LACE it is clear that Elves are not dominated by desires of the flesh and the physical union is a means to complete spiritual union. I guess that is the danger of quoting only part a text.... Ideally the vows are exchanged in the presence of their families but this is not essential. I suppose the absence of witnesses and a "priest" seems odd to us but since the elves could't deceive another elf as to their marital status (also in LACE I think) witnesses weren't necessary and there were no priests. The Quakers have extremely simple marriage services (and no priests) , the couple make this simple vow to each other.
"
Friends, I take this my friend, (name), to be my husband/wife, promising, through Divine assistance , to be unto him/her a loving and faithful husband/wife, so long as we both on earth shall live."
That I would guess is probably as close as you would get to day to Elvish practice.
Oh I said in my first post that I thought a new dress but worn after was my best guess
I do like your idea of being married in a wood though a beech one would be more elven and beechwoods are like outdoor cathedrals. Although there are far fewer restrictions on wedding locations here now I don't think you can get married in an open space which is rather sad.
I also agree with you about wedding dress designs - maybe it is my age or my mother's influence but I don't think bare shoulders are appropriate for church weddings (and english churches are a bit chilly even in summer) and think those evening dress styles need a little jacket or at least a wrap for the service ..they are also a bit too structured for my idea of elvish dress. I can't imagine an elf wearing a "boned" dress - it seems against their nature to be so restricted and lucky things dont need the structure to restrain or support...
I do think the films did quite well on the frock front - I went to the LOTR exhibition and Galadriel's beaded dress really did seem to emanate light - quite lovely and they had Arwen's blue velvet with silver underdress which was good too though the neckline looked a bit too wide in the film... I wish they would do another exhibition with the later costumes in since I would have loved to see Eowyn's clothes and jewellery too. I think that the Elves would favour lighter, floatier fabric, maybe with embroidery, whereas the gondorians might go for heavier, richer fabric like velvet and brocade, damask silk - more renaissance style/late medieaval. Rohan I do see as more Anglo Saxon/early medieaval - a bit like the Queen Mother's wedding dress. Hobbits being simpler folk - shepherdess / milkmaid styles and their love of bright colour might mean that green and yellow might have been the preferred hues.
Also need to bear in mind that they might have been more limited in the choice of fabrics - linen and wool only maybe - and dyes. Many colours have only relatively recently become available due to modern chemical processes. Some colours such as deep red, purple and true white and black were extremely expensive. Use of teh more expensive colours would be a status symbol perhaps. Poorer folk would have to make do with the coulours obtainable from plants.
I imagine Hobbits would have worn flowers in their hair and many elves too - though they might wear diadems /tiara type headdresses . Wearing a jewel on a filet on the brow is a possibility too - like Erendis. Elvish dresses may have been designed to set off the jewellery given as a wedding gifts which presumably were worn at the ceremony.
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