I guess because Tolkien generally likes to describe absolutely everything he can, I don't think of the descriptions as a big deal. But when there's a description that contradicts with another, it becomes interesting! So, with that being said, I'm going to say Legolas has dark hair.
After watching the films though, I will picture Legolas from now on as a blond Orlando Bloom, but I'm guessing Tolkien imagined him with dark hair. I'm basing this soley on this quote you provided:
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"Frodo looked up at the Elf standing tall above him, as he gazed into the night, seeking a mark to shoot at. His head was dark, crowned with sharp white stars that glittered in the black pools of the sky behind." -The Great River, The Fellowship of the Ring.
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Tell your friends that next time they make fun of Legolas and his movie counterpart Orlando Bloom.
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I'll be sure to!