Gandalf: 'Fear not Aragorn. When I died & passed beyond thought & time I was given a list of instructions by Eru to guide me in the battle against Sauron. He said He could not communicate with me directly but that in great need I could call for the instructions to appear upon the air in letters wrought from the Secret Fire itself! I have never yet attempted to read them, but now, as we set out upon the last & most dangerous stage of our Quest, I shall do so!'
'By my authority as Servant of the Secret Fire, I would see the first of Eru's instructions!'
The air begins to glow & letters appear in white fire before Gandalf.
'Eman! Ym saw taht! Yargoof flodnag!'
Aragorn: 'And what does it mean, O wise Counsellor, Hope of the West?'
Gandalf: 'It is in the tongue of Valinor, which few in Middle-earth can now understand.'
Aragorn: 'Yes?'
Gandalf: 'Er...In the Common Speech it says: 'Milk! Two pints semi-skimmed! Washing up liquid!'
Aragorn:
'What can it mean?'
Gandalf: 'It means He's mixed up his list of instructions to guide me in the saving of Middle-earth with his shopping list. It also means we're in deep trouble.