[The Barrow-Wight]

My Dearest Wights,

It has been with the greatest of pleasure that I have sorted through my mail over the last couple of weeks and found among the various bills, subpoenas, credit card applications, and Netflix DVDs a variety of wondrous birthday cards, every one an artistic treasure and a touching memento that I will treasure forever. Even now they lie in the barrow, stashed among my other valuables, where they will remain until the next band of filthy hobbits drops by and wrecks the place.

To show my gratitude for the well wishes, I thought I might comment on each visual card that I received.

Hookbill, most favored Goomba, your collage is both beautiful and disturbing. The good professor looking stoically on at “Happy Barrow, Birthday Downs”, shadowy wingy things, and rolling mountains is as inspiring as it is weird. Great card!

Taralphiel, I nearly cried when I saw your wonderful card. Someday you can join me here in the barrow and light a little candle of your own.

Celuien, I’ve seen that sign before and recommend everyone follow it. Though it looks like it points off into the hills, it really leads to everlasting fun and frolicking. Yes, lots of it! Thanks for showing everyone the way.

WestWood, I love green cake. Who doesn’t?

TheSaucepanMan, a green ribbon! For me? Awesome! I take Worst Place!

Valesse, thank you for the card, but Skwerlz is spelled with a Z. What were you and Mr. Seacrest thinking!?

Encaitare, it’s very creepy that you know exactly what I’m wearing right now (and always when I’m in the barrow). I’m getting a restraining order.

Lalaith, I hope that’s miruvor!

poisenniel, every time I see that picture I fantasize that the precariously leaning megalith suddenly topples and squishes those troublesome hobbits. Is that wrong of me?

Guinevere, I need a Tengwar tutor.

dancing spawn of ungoliant, Aaaaachoooooo! Thanks a lot. It’s allergy season.

wilwarin538, butterflies are cool…

Thinlómien, …. but penguins are cooler. Get it!? Cooler! As in Antarctica cooler. Ha! Oh, man, I’ve had too much birthday cake.

Sleepy Ranger, that is appalling. It’s like a karaoke performance in a bar. At this level of the competition you have got to be special, and it wasn’t. I think you just got a plane ticket home. (just kidding, cool card!)

Mithalwen, what is that, some kind of fantasy island. There’s no such place!

If I missed anyone, I’ll get you next year, so don’t miss it.

Thank you everyone for being such great forum members. I greatly appreciate your cards and well wishes!

Sincerely,