I assign the mid-meal discovery that caesar salad dressing contains anchovies. Microscopic dead animal-things in my food! What's the point? Is it a world-wide effort to skeeve out vegetarians? No, you can't TASTE the little buggers, but we're going to kill them and stick 'em in there anyhow, just so Laura has to survive on lettuce like a friggin' rabbit because she's so paranoid about finding freshly killed corpse in her meals.
And I assign my own OCD tendencies that led me to forcibly remove (with the aid of a fork) any part of my meal that had touched it.
I also assign being really caffiene high while this was happening. I'd assumed tunnel-vision only comes from alcohol, but nope... you get enough caffiene in your system and the world starts looking a lot different.