Please name for me one book whose first chapter is completely and utterly fascinating. No, seriously. If you don't start a book with the idea that the first bits will be boring, you'll probably end up not finishing the book at all.
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Spook the spook of spookish spookdom to spook the spooked spookers.
?!?! This isn't Osgiliath!
Do the wave for Boromir the Disco King! Eat squid for Boromir the Disco King!
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