[narfforc]

Old Tom moans like a very old man
His Jackets to tight, and his boots are tan
He can't skip far now, since he's got fatter
His boots don't fit, and he's mad as a hatter.

Tom's off home to his pretty Goldigger
She's very nice, with a really good figure
Down by a pond, that's where he caught her
Happy Old Tom, and The Glibber-woman's Daughter.

Old Tom smiles, but he's not happy
Goldigger's broody, so he has to wear a nappy (Diaper)
That's why his walk is so very funny
He skips along like the Easter Bunny.