This is parody'd from Dana Lyons
Cows With Guns. Some of it is left original. It is now a myth/song that dwarves sing in while the work in their mines. It is the legend about how the the Kine of Araw rebelled against the Easterlings.
Sung by an old veteran who has "seen everything" in a kind of raspy, low voice, in A Minor. The stanzas look really weird unless you know the phrasing. Heres a link to hear the original song and a free flash video to go with it.
This is the flash video to hear the tune.
The Great Kine Uprising
arranged and vocalized by Elu Ancalime
Fat and docile, big and dumb
They roam in the grass, they shade in the Sun
Kine aren't fun
They eat to grow, grow to die
Die to be ate by those Easterling guys
Kine well done
When the Kine were hunted, it was the end of their day
But then one came to save them, it was.....Orome.
Savior's Come
He found the last herd, and none of them knew
That the Balcoth were coming, and Wainriders too
Kine doldrums
He declared they must fight, escape or they'll die
The Kine gathered around, cause the steaks were too high
Bad cow pun
The oxen were rallied, like a cattle supernova
They charged into battle at the sound of the Valaroma
Kine with Guns
But then one was captured, stuffed into a grate
Loaded onto a wain where he rode to his fate
Kine got bummed
He was a scrawny calf, but he had sharp teeth
They were so powerful, he should have had a sheath
Shelob's Son
The bolts were all rusty, so he bit them all hard
He could have killed a dragon, and shamed the King Bard
Cow well hung
Knocked over the wain and ran for the hills
The strength he showed could have powered six mills
Run Kine run!
He borrowed the Valaroma, and called all his kind:
"We are free roving bovines, we are the Kine"
We will fight for Kelvar freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Uruk-hai, or die
Kine with Guns
They crashed the gate in a great stampede
It was the Easterling capital, and their Seed and Feed
Kine have fun
Orome piled Wains in a heap
Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
Much cow dung
Black smoke rising, darkening the day
Everyone stopped to watch, even Melkor and Manwe
We will fight for Kelvar freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Uruk-hai, or
Kine with guns
Then Sauron said "Enough is enough
These uppity cattle, its time to get tough"
Cow dung flung
The Mouth told all, Rhun sighed with relief
Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef
Kine on buns
The Kine were surrounded, orcs were on their way
Now they needed another savior,
But only Gandalf the Grey
Kine out gunned
The order was given to kill, by Sauron's evil seagull
The only one worried was poor little Smeagol
But on the West wind, they saw something regal
It was thier deliverence from Mandos; it was Wizards-on Eagles
________
MAC GAMES