Er, good evening judges. And may I say how lovely you are looking tonight ,
Wilwa Abdul. So much more presentable than than that old witch, Sharon Sackville-Osborne that we have on
Shire Idol.
My name is
The Saucepan Man. And I would like to sing for you a number from my very own back catalogue here on the Downs*. The song is
Gimli's Mighty Axe and I shall be singing it in the style of of that well known Dwarfish combo from the Third Age,
Sergeant Bifur's Lonely Mountain Club Band (ie late 2960s, slightly whimsical).
Down in Khazad-Dum, the Fellowship all hear the boom of drumming in the deep,
Orcs approach the Tomb of Balin oh oh oh oh.
Gimli Gloin’s son, waiting for to give them some, feigns a mighty sweep,
He’s looking forward to breaking some Orcish bo-o-o-ones.
And as they all pour through the door, a blade swings through the air.
Chop chop Gimli’s mighty axe came down upon their heads,
Chop chop Gimli’s mighty axe made sure that they were dead.
Now we’re at a tense moment on the battlements, Rohan’s under threat,
Uruk hordes advance on Helm’s Deep oh oh oh oh.
Gimli and Legolas are adamant that none shall pass, so they make a bet,
Who will claim the greatest number of fo-o-o-oes?
So with a cry of Baruk Khazâd, the Dwarf’s headcount begins,
Chop chop Gimli’s mighty axe came down upon their heads,
Chop chop Gimli’s mighty axe left two and forty dead.
The heir of Isildur is heading for the Pelennor. Gimli’s there again.
Sailing up the Anduin river oh oh oh oh.
Imrahil and Eomer seeing now the newcomers think all hope is gone.
The black sails of the Corsairs tell them so-o-o-o.
But as the White Tree unfurls, their hearts are filled with joy,
Chop chop Gimli’s mighty axe once more found Orcish heads,
Chop chop Gimli’s mighty axe made sure that they were dead.
Thank you.
* ie something shamelessly cut and pasted from another thread ...
