Announcer: Noooobody knoooooows the trouble I seen,
Noooobody knoooooows my sorrow…
Oh, we’re back. Who cares. The light has gone out of my life. My joy, my happiness. Now all I have are my *hic* memories…and this bottle of Captain Ishmael Strangereek’s for company…
Color Commentator: And they say I’m a lush. Two elves seem to be on the agenda for today. Apparently, the electors are finding the overabundance of elves to have a similar effect to two flasks of Cap’n Strangereek’s Amber Amnesia on an empty stomach.
Announcer: Noooobooody knoooooows, how drrry I…errr…am
Color Commentator: Speaking of Amber Amnesia, much to his embarrassment, Kuruharan has realized that he totally forgot to actually cast a vote yesterday. Ooops.
Meanwhile, in a dark underwater lair…
Spokesperson: Fellow members of H.A.G., I call this meeting to order. We have before us a great opportunity! We have the chance to kill the gorgeous Amanda Bobblehead!!
wild applause
Spokesperson: My friends, I too can barely restrain my glee at the chance to destroy this icon of male fantasy…
wild applause and cheering
Spokesperson: Please, we must have order…order…THERE IS A DANGER!!! Thank you. Secret Agent Double Oh-Point Five has been assigned the task of tracking her down and rescuing her.
wild sounds of fury
Spokesperson: That’s right my friends…and what fate do we have in store for those who attempt to defend such fixtures of the male libido as sideline reporters?
H.A.G.: DEATH, DEATH, DEATH!!!
Spokesperson: BAWH-HAWH-HAWH-HAWH!!!
Director: The forces of H.A.G. have been unleashed against the steely will of Secret Agent Double Oh-Point Five. Will he be able to survive? Will he find and rescue Amanda Bobblehead? Will he triumph in the end? Since this is a cheap cable channel production, we will have to wait to find out after these commercial messages.
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...finding a path that cannot be found, walking a road that cannot be seen, climbing a ladder that was never placed, or reading a paragraph that has no...
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