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Old 02-28-2006, 11:03 PM   #259
Tevildo
Shade of Carn Dûm
 
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Curled up on Melko's lap
Posts: 425
Tevildo has just left Hobbiton.
Naria -

Hmm..... I've been thinking a lot about your recent post. My apologies for my earlier goof.

I really liked your post, but I think there may be a small problem. It wouldn't take much to fix it, though. Here is my idea. You can tell me to jump in the lake if you think this won't work!

You ask Dorran a question about the meat but then don't wait for him to answer. Instead, you go ahead and sit next to Brand for lunch:

Quote:
Not knowing what to do with the remaining pieces of meat she asked Dorran, "Do you know a way in which to dry meat? There is still some wild boar left here."

After Incana had rinsed her hands and blade of blood with water she took some lunch and sat down next to Brand. She ate her last spoonful of stew and rinsed it down with tea that Dorran always kept fresh and hot for them. Incana then made a bold move and started a conversation with the man sitting next to her.
Then you tell Brand all about Vanosa, but don't give him a chance to respond because you immediately ask a question of Dorran:

Quote:
Maybe she will let her guard down with the group, I will talk to her when we are on our way again." She smiled at the man feeling a weight lift off of her shoulders.

Incana's attention was brought back to supper when she heard Dorran throw down some wood. "Dorran could you show me where you found the turnips for the stew?" She thought if he was able to find turnips maybe there would be some kind of potatoe to be had as well.
My problem is this. I could go ahead and do a post where Dorran responds to your last question. I could talk to you about where the turnips are, but then Brand really wouldn't have a chance to say anything about Vaenosa, and Dorran will never answer your earlier question about the meat.

Would it be alright if we did this?

1. Right after the question about the dry meat to Dorran, you could add just one sentence where you say something like this: Dorran nodded and then walked off to think about the question that Incana had raised. If you add a sentence like that, it makes sense for Dorran to bring this question up with you in a later post, and the scene isn't just left hanging.

2. End your current post before the last paragraph. Stop at the point that says She smiled at the man feeling a weight lift off of her shoulders. If you do that, then Brand will be able to answer you and offer some kind of response about Vaenosa.

3. Save the last little paragraph for a separate post and put it up after Brand finishes his response. You can use this as a way to lead into the post that Dorran will make in response to Incana, the one we talked about by pm. Just to let you know, Dorran has overheard what Incana said and will comment on this as well as answer the two questions: the one you raised about the meat and the one about the turnips.

Arry and Naria What do you think of this approach?
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Now Tevildo was a mighty cat--the mightiest of all--and possessed of an evil spirit,...and he was in Melko's constant following; and that cat had all cats subject to him, and he and his subjects were the chasers and getters of meat for Melko's table.

Last edited by Tevildo; 02-28-2006 at 11:08 PM.
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