[Encaitare]

It had been a long and trying week for Ms. Brochenbach, between her idiot teacher shouting at the whole class for hours on end and the nagging worry of how she was possibly going to complete that pesky third task. (Oddly enough, whenever she thought about it she had the sudden urge to explore a hedge maze, but she’d never been overly fond of shrubberies and therefore ignored the unusual thought.)

Now it was the night before her final exam. She’d considered studying, but the textbook only had a few words per page and therefore actually contained the same amount of useful information as a supermarket tabloid.

“Well, Mr. Swanky,” she said to her hat, which was sitting on the bedside table in her cramped dorm room, “I’m sure I can do just fine. Real college students wing it all the time. Old Timers Dizeaze, my foot.” Feeling pretty confident in her abilities, she turned off the dingy lamp, rolled over on the squeaky bed, and went to sleep.

~*~*~*~*~

“Wilhelmina!” she heard a man’s voice say. Slowly regaining consciousness, she saw two fuzzy figures standing by the bed – so much for blaming Anakron for disturbing her slumber.

“Minnie, my child, wake up.” This time it was a woman’s voice. With effort, Wilhelmina sat up and squinted at the two people – she wasn’t squinting because her eyesight was poor, but rather because the pair was see-through.

“Hello, Mom. Hello, Dad,” she said somewhat lamely. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Mandos or wherever?”

“Normally we would be, you see, but we’ve heard some disturbing rumors,” Mrs. Brochenbach said mysteriously.

“More disturbing than one’s dead parents showing up in an already eerie dorm room?”

The ghosts looked hurt. “We wanted to see you,” said Mr. Brochenbach. “It’s been so long since you were taken away from us.”

Wonderful, now I feel like a horrible person, she thought. Nothing like reproachful parents to do that to you. “I didn’t mean to be rude,” she said apologetically. “It’s nice to see you both, too, even if it’s a little… odd.”

“There’s not much time for us to stay, Minnie,” said Mrs. Brochenbach. “We’ve heard about the impending war between parents and teenagers, and we want you to stay out of it.”

Wilhelmina raised her brow and scoffed, not unlike a sassy teen. “Why would I pick a side? I’m not either one.”

“We know that,” her father sighed. “We just don’t want anything to happen to you – it’s probably going to get pretty messy. You wouldn’t want to spoil your chances to get out of Mordor, would you?” He winked, just like he used to back in Minas Tirith…

“We might even be able to help you with that third task,” her mother said in a confidential tone.

“Does it involve a hedge maze?”

“Heavens, no!” Mrs. Brochenbach laughed like the young woman Wilhelmina remembered from her childhood. She suddenly realized that she had missed so much during her exile in Mordor – family, friends (of the non-ferret variety), the possibility of giving her parents grandchildren. She’d missed her parents so much at first, she remembered. The two smiled knowingly, and leaned in closer to give her their otherworldly wisdom –

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

She woke up to the offensive sound of an alarm clock.

Blasted dreams! She fumed, thinking how wretched were these unconscious musings over which she had no control. And how stupid Freud was for spending all his time thinking about them. She hadn’t even gotten any information out of the dream, except some false hopes and irritating sentimentality. Frowning, she put on her hat, picked up her walking stick, and left for her final exam.