[the phantom]

Mardil grinned wickedly as he watched Doctor Hookbill soar out the window of his office. His eyes flashed red and he let out a rough sounding chuckle.

A high pitched voice cut across his evil laugh. "What the- Doctor Hookbill... guards!!" cried a shocked nurse who had witnessed the tossing from the doorway. "Help!"

Mardil turned towards the nurse and growled. "Well, hello there. You're a tasty looking morsel," he said in a deep throaty voice. Hair began to grow on his face as he crouched low and began to take slow steps towards the terrified nurse. The nurse screamed in terror and fainted.

Mardil stopped and stood up straight. A confused expression appeared on his face, and he looked from the broken window to the unconscious nurse, trying to figure out what was happening.

At that moment, a troop of twenty orcs filed into the office and stood with their spears pointed at Mardil. Their commanding officer stood forward and addressed Mardil. "I understand that you threw Doctor Hookbill out the window to his death. Is that accurate?"

"Well, I don't think-" began Mardil, but then his glance happened upon the back of his hand. "Oh no."

"What is it?" asked the orc.

"Well, it's all rather complicated, and I'm not sure I understand everything right now," said Mardil, as the tufts of hair shrank back into his skin. "I'm sure you are used to all sorts of odd situations in this land of anachronisms. This is one of those situations." As he spoke, he drew a small flask from his hip pocket, dipped the tip of his favorite knife in it, and cut himself.

The perplexed orc cleared his throat and spoke again. "Well, that may be, but I'm going to have to arrest you."

"Oh, well yes, no question there, but please place me in the West Morgul Correctional Center rather than the Morgul branch of the Mordor Penitentiary or the Minas Morgul City Jail," said Mardil, sheathing his knife.

"Er, well, I suppose I could do that," said the orc. "Well, just turn around and let us cuff you and take your weapons."

"Oh no, absolutely not!" said Mardil resolutely. "There may be too many of you here for me to escape from, but there aren't enough of you to take me without a few of you dying in the process. Any of you fancy dying today?!" No one answered. "Good. I will go along with you willingly to the Correctional Center and allow you to put me in a cell. But first, I will send a message to a couple friends of mine. After they arrive, everything will be sorted out."

"Who are you sending these messages to?" inquired the orc, not entirely sure he should allow Mardil's terms.

"Well, one person is The Grand Anakronist. You know who he is, don't you?" The orc nodded. "You know who I am, don't you? I'm one of the escapees." The orc nodded again. "Believe me, you want to do as I say. You'll regret not doing it, but if you follow my instructions, well- you won't be sorry. What's your name?"

"Mortakh. Captain Mortakh."

"Mortakh, my friend," said Mardil, "Do as I say and you will soon be called 'General Mortakh'."

Mortakh looked Mardil in the eye for a moment. "All right," he said at last. "You can go ahead and write your messages. My men will make sure they are sent. After that, I'll take you to the West Morgul Correctional Center."

"Excellent!" said Mardil happily. "But just one more thing. Could you tell me what this hospital used to be, particularly this high tower we are in? It's an ancient building, I can tell."

"Oh, yes indeed," answered Mortakh excitedly. "History is my favorite subject! This is the tower that the Witch King himself used to lounge around in- the highest tower of Sauron's great western fortress- Minas Morgul. Of course, everyone always calls it 'Cirith Ungol', and calls the sprawling city to the west of here 'Minas Morgul', but that's because they've forgotten their history. In reality, Cirith Ungol was farther to the east, up in a high pass. You can see its ruins if you climb the mountains north of here. This here is properly Minas Morgul. It wasn't always Minas Morgul, though. Before that this here tower was called Minas Ithil, the Tower of the Moon."