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You must follow the belief that to read about something is to fall under the vile persuasions therein.
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You write on a Tolkien RP forum. 'Nuff said.
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As you know he got married recently, and Mrs HI really likes big shiny rocks. But big shiny rocks are awfully expensive, and so he has been driven to a life of internet crime.
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As fellow (but not
fellow) newlywed, and as a girl, big shiny rocks are awfully nice. And as a computer geek in training, internet crime is FUN!