Okay, here's the deal. Gollum probably made lots more than the three promises I had in mind, none of which have been stated on this thread yet. So whoever puts three (reasonable) promises into a single post will get it, even if they aren't the specific three I had in mind (you shouldn't need to stretch too hard here, honest). Okay?
Oh, and if you could label them as kept or unkept, I'd be grateful.