[Child of the 7th Age]

Bethberry -

Wanted to get back regarding Tolkien and how his relations with his wife may have affected his writing or views on women.

In general, I occupy a middle ground. I think Tolkien did a better job portraying adult women than his closest male literary contemporaries like Lewis or Williams. However, Tolkien's depiction of women isn't,in my mind, a central strength.

If someone were to ask me to compile a list of fifty reasons why I love LotR or the legendarium, I would have no trouble. I might even have names on that list like Galadriel or Luthien or Andrath.

But in terms of general categories or motifs, that would be another question. I love Tolkien because he does such a wonderful job portraying a host of themes--male friendship; the co-mingling of joy and sadness; the challenges of mortality and immortality; the need for personal responsibility and mercy; the subtle workings of providence.....the list goes on and on, but nowhere in that top fifty, would I put the understanding of the female soul.

It's just not Tolkien! The age he lived in, the existence of Oxford as a heavily male bastion, his own large circle of male friends by which he defined his life.....all of this determined who he was and how he thought of the world.

There are male authors who "know" the inside of a woman's soul (and vice versa as well), but Tolkien was not one of them. Tolkien knew and understood fantasy and language in a way that I can barely comprehend, but the depiction of the feminine was not his core strength.

In fact, I've often thought that what is for me his most appealing female character, that of Galadriel, was actually more of an authority figure and the distillation of what it meant to be an Elf, rather than the heart and soul of a woman.

Don't know if this makes sense.

His own life? Part of the problem is that he was so private. I honestly don't feel that any of his biographers truly knew him. He would only let them in so far. So anything we say is bound to be only part of the truth. Sometimes I feel you can know an author through his life story, and sometimes only through his writings. I think Tolkien fell in the latter category.

But still I feel more forgiving towards him than you do. Remember how desperately lonely both of them were when they met. They weren't a perfect match, but at least they had each other--he an orphan, shunted from place to place and she, a product of an illegitimate union, essentially left on her own as a boarder.

Tolkien once said in his Letters, that if you searched your whole life, you might finally determine your true and ideal mate. But most of us never reach that and we decide on the basis of what's in front of us. So your true mate, he said, is the one you are actually married to, even if it isn't always perfect.

And I guess that is how I think of his marriage. In an "ideal" world, Edith was not his true soul mate in terms of her interests, just as his interests and personality were markedly different than his.

He obviously loved her. Look at their tombstones, or his tale about how he saw her dancing in the forest glade. This, he said, is when he first conceived of Luthien. Most of the letters with private things in them were left out by the editors. But the scraps that remain show affection and love.

I always think how he agreed to go to Bournemouth in retirement, solely because it was the kind of place where his wife could find friends and happiness. For him, as an intellectual desiring similar male friends, it must have been exile! But he did it for Edith, and she apparently loved it. And yes, perhaps he felt a bit guilty about all those evenings he went and conversed about literature with male friends.

And I do understand why he wanted Edith to be Catholic, even if Church law didn't require it. My husband and I had to face that same challenge and we felt that it was essential for our family to be united. And, yes, in this instance, it was myself as the female who converted, although I have always felt very, very positive about that.

I don't know if Edith sublimated her intellectual accomplishments. I think she may simply have been interested in music, an area far different from that of her husband. Unfortunately, in that day, married women simply didn't have the choice of continuing on with outside interests in the same way we do.

And I do think Edith wasn't terribly comfortable with academics. I have to laugh because I am or was an academic, and I'm not always terrible comfortable with them either! But because she was shy, it must have been hard for her. Perhaps, Tolkien should have compromised a bit more on male friendships outside the house, but then the LotR would probably never have been finished. There's no easy answer here!

Any other thoughts?

sharon, the 7th age hobbit

[ July 02, 2002: Message edited by: Child of the 7th Age ]