[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sai Onara sat down in front of Hookbill's desk as he frantically looked at the bookshelves. He twitched nervously and mumbled to himself incoherently, there as some Elvish thrown in there, incorrectly, as Sai noted. Hookbill took down a large volume that was covered in dust, the binding seemed to have been repaired several times, unsuccessfully. Hookbill blew some of dust off and looked at the title, "Medical Textbook".

"Ah!" said the little man, "This may help." he opened it up to reveal hollowed out pages holding a small bottle of whiskey. Hookbill groaned. He hated alcohol and it wasn't going to help his situation. He slammed it shut and placed it on the table before picking up a clipboard. Clearing his throat several times, Hookbill succeeded only in creating the impression that he had a cold.

"Do you..." began Hookbill plucking questions out of thin air, "Do you have any diseases?"

"I was rather hoping you could tell me that," said Sai with a smirk, "doctor."

"Well quite," the little man adjusted his collar; "of course." he wrote some things on his clipboard. "Read this." he said holding it up.

"'I need a cup of tea.'"

"You do?" cried Hookbill, "me too, lets leave this terrible place!" He rose and tried to scuttle away.

"Doctor?" Sai said, "what about my health?"

"Oh that..." he scratched his head, "erm, let me see." he took a magnifying glass from his coat pocket, wiped the blood off it and examined Sai's eyes. "Well, I sorry to say this," began Hookbill before something bit him on the leg. It was a crab that had been living under the bookcase.

"What is it, Doctor?" pressed Sai.

"I'm afraid its Gandalf's syndrome." he said, picking a name at random. Sai looked puzzled. "It’s a mysterious condition, but I've caught it in the early stages. Tell me have you had the uncontrollable urge to uncloak." Sai shook her head, "good, its not too far gone. Although, it will require surgery."

"What kind?" asked Sai, getting a little nervous.

"Oh nothing major," said Hookbill lifting a saw from a cabinet draw, "just the removal of the... erm... the," he paused, "the euphonium?"

"Isn't that a musical instrument?"

"No," coughed Hookbill, "It's a very important... liver... like... thing." Sai wasn't convinced. "I need to check the doctor's manual." said Hookbill hiding under the desk. Sai heard sounds of gulping and a lid being screwed. The little man rose again looked wide-eyed. "Right, lets get you down to theatre!" he began to leave, letting her lead the way, "Ah, I'll just get the manual." he said.

As he tried to leave, the intercom beeped at him. "Your next patient is here, Doctor." but before Hookbill could ask how there was an intercom in Middle Earth, a nurse pushed him back into the room and told him to wait before doing any operations.