[the phantom]

"Should I try and revive her?" Sai asked Mardil shortly after they were on the road again.

"No, leave her alone," ordered Mardil. "I think the trip will probably be more pleasant for all of us if she stays knocked out until Mount Doom."

After a bit, Sai spoke again. "Isn't Mordor supposed to be rocky, hot, and dry?"

"Yes, for the most part, but we're still in Nurnia," answered Mardil. "Ages ago, when Sauron was lord here, Nurnia was where his slaves worked fields and such, so obviously he didn't blast this area with the breath of death the way he did everything in the north of his land. As you can see, there are even stands of trees in this country."

As he spoke the road entered a forest of pines. Soon, the road began climbing up towards a high ridge of land that seemed to stretch in both directions to distant mountains. "I'll bet that's where the land will change," said Mardil as he examined his map. "That should be the border of Nurnia."

As they approached the top of the ridge, they noticed the pines beginning to thin out, and there appeared to be racks of coats scattered throughout the trees. As they continued, the trees were replaced completely by rows upon rows of coats. "We're leaving Nurnia all right," said Mardil.

When they reached the top of the ridge, Mardil pulled over onto the shoulder. "There's Mount Doom, dead ahead."

Sai looked at it for a moment, but she was soon focused on something a bit nearer. "Look, Mardil- what is that just a bit down the road?"

Mardil's eyes widened in amazement. "It looks like the road flips directions."

"But why are all of those cars off the road?"

"I don't know. I'm going to turn the radio on and scan for a traffic report."

ssssssss...your home for the best music of the late 3rd age...sssssssss...and I really think that Dol Amroth needs to find a better point guard...ssssssss...Oops, I did it again, I play with...ssssssss...partly cloudy with a chance...sssssss...in the game, oh baby baby, Oops you think I'm in love-

"That's not a traffic report, Mardil," said Sai, turning the sound down as she spoke.

"Hey! I like that song!" protested Mardil.

"Are you kidding? That song is awful!" said Sai.

"Well, okay, I guess I don't like the song that much, but the video is great. The... uh... choreography, and... um, the... camera angles and such."

Sai rolled her eyes. "In other words, you think Britney Spears is hot."

"She's got a great body! You can't deny that!" said Mardil in defense.

"Okay, whatever, just find a traffic report," said Sai, still rolling her eyes.

ssssss...tomorrow we'll see mostly sunny skies with...ssssssss...no way will the king support such legislation, because there...ssssssss...switches sides of the road right after leaving Nurnia.

"That's it! Turn it up!"

According to what information we have, not only do the lanes switch, but the steering wheel and pedals switch sides of the vehicle, so if you have a passenger have them prepared to drive. If you are by yourself, go slowly, and when you cross the red line on the road, be ready to grab the wheel as it appears in front of the passenger seat.

"Well, no wonder all of those cars are crashing. They weren't able to control their vehicle," remarked Mardil.

Sai climbed into the back seat, leaving the entire front to Mardil. "You do what that guy said the directions were for a driver driving alone. Can you do that?"

"M'lady- Mardil can do anything."

------------

"Wow," said Sai looking at the car thermometer. "It's up to ninety degrees outside. I can't believe it was just sleeting only an hour ago. That is really strange."

"Everything in Mordor is strange," answered Mardil. "I mean, just look at me. I'm turned into an orc!"

"You know Mardil, you aren't a half bad looking orc," laughed Sai.

"Ha ha, very funny," said Mardil, feeling a bit self concious about his appearance.

"Oh, the's vewy wight, you know," lisped Orckel from the back. "You have a nithe even thkin tone, good teeth, and vewy shemetrical fathial featureth. Aftew tonight'th epithode ith aired, it'll only be a thort time before pictureth of you in your orcith form awe hanging in da bedwoomth of orc-girlth evewywhewe."

"I've never been more proud," said Mardil.