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Intervention
Just as the Offending Party were choosing vehicles, six yellow vans descended upon the scene, each bearing the words, Blimmin' Barblecashing Corpulation on their sides. Karís Mâtiktwít jumped out of the first one and started screaming orders at various and sundry goblins, orcs, uruks, and trolls, who ran around in a seemingly disorderly fashion, setting up kamuras, my crow phones, and other such paraphernalia.
One goblin each ran up to each of the Offending Party and pinned very tiny my crow phones to their lapels, earrings, strands of hair, or whatever was most ready to claw. Meanwhile these goblins lisped directions at the competitors, who, after the directions had been completed, had to wipe their faces clean from all the flying spit.
Here is an example of what they had had to go through:
"You have to weaw thith my cwow phone becauth you'we on the BBC weality tv thyow, an' if you don't weaw it, you'll be in vewy vewy big twoubow. Theiwill be a kamuwa twoll in youw caw at awl timeth. You may not go anywhewe without him, or you'll be in vewy big twoubow. Thith ith the biggetht hit of the theathon wight now, an' if you co-opewate, maybe thewe'th thomething it it fo' woo."
Six sets of eyes rolled and six pairs of hands rubbed six faces. As each member set out, sure enough, a BBC van followed each one.
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