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The Second Test
Anakron Istkon Vayor was standing precisely where the six who had successfully completed the First Test, had left him.
"It is good to see that you are all (ahem) awake this morning," he said. "Valde Delego has not yet arrived. Since it is morning, I subtract one point more: current total, 8."
Anakron raised his staff, but Mardil cleared his throat.
"Grand Anakronist, sir...."
"Yes?"
"What difference do the points make?"
"It is a flexible system (by which Anakron meant that he had not decided exactly how the point system would add up in the end, nor precisely what total signified failure) by which, for each test, members of the Offending Party will be given a point total not less than one, not greater than ten.
"There are five primary Tests, but that does not mean that points will be given out only five times. If I determine that a particular circumstance warrants points given, they shall be given. Any questions on that?"
No one spoke.
"Now then." Anakron raised his staff and the Siamese Cat let out a particularly raucous yowl. The air rippled as if it was made of water, and revealed before the eyes of the Offending Party were ten vehicles: five Yellow PT Cruisers, and five Little French Cars With No Guts. The tires on each vehicle were in various states of near baldness. Beside each vehicle was a pile of ten spare tires.
"Lūgnūt!" Anakron called.
Up walked the Orc who had given them instruction back at Cair Pairadocks.
"Congratulations," simpered Lūgnūt, "to the six of you for having successfully avoided failure in the aforementioned goal, albeit with varying honours.*
"Now then. Your next test is to drive from here to Mount Doom Casino and Resort, by way of the Motorways and (ugh) Interstates that have been constructed in the chasms created by the passing of the Dark Lord (may his stay in the Void be fortuitously enibriated). You will be given 50 Trolls, in addition to that which you have not expended from your former allowance.
"You may select from any one of these ten vehicles displayed before you. You may also elect to form a group of two or more from amongst yourselves, in order to perhaps increase your chances of success. But do understand that, for the purposes of this Second Test, each fellow member of the Offending Party removes three spare tires from the amount with which you you may stock your vehicle. A PT Cruiser with only one driver can hold ten spare tires. A Little French Car with one driver can hold precisely three spare tires. By way of addendum, the PT Cruisers have tanks that hold twenty-five Trollbellies of petrol, and manage perhaps fifteen to twenty-five miles per trollbelly, depending upon conditions. By Contrast, the Little French Cars have tanks that hold eleven Trollbellies, and manage between thirty-five and forty-five miles per trollbelly. Choose wisely.
"I am given to understand that the entirety of you are in need of drivers' licenses. You must all take RETs, in the vehicle of your choice, under my observation.
"And now I will hand out the Trolls." Lūgnūt handed out the money.
Anakron looked on dispassionately. "One thing my assistant failed to explain," he said presently, "is that the tanks are not full. Some have more petrol, some have less. So this is a race to see which of you will get the best deal at the start-off. Ready, Set, Find your car!"
The six were taken by surprise for the briefest moment, then tripped over each other trying to get out in front of the small pack.
*-all loquacious Orcs speak with British spellings...
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