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Originally Posted by Farael
I wish Frodo had had a cellular phone when he went into Mordor
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Dun-dun-DONE!!!! It is done.
He has a cellular (or mobile) telephone in Mordor. Unfortunately, as the Orcs are searching him in Cirath Ungol, it goes off and they stamp on it. The sparks that fly from it hit a curtain that starts to burn, so the Orcs tear it down to try and put it out. One Orc catches fire and runs screaming out of the tower window and lands on a passing Nazgūl. The Nazgūl then sets on fire and starts screeching which brings all the others to the area. Soon they all catch fire and speed off in random directions. The Witch King falls in Minas Morgul that then burns to the ground damming the water. The water eventually bursts through the ruins of Morgul and floods most of Ithilian. It so happened that the missing Oliphant was swept up and fell in Osgiliath where it went on a rampage and ran to Pelenor fields and then on to Minas Tirith where it broke the walls and ate most of the inhabitants.
While in Minas Tirith, Pippin saw the Oliphant and warned Gandalf who decided to fit rockets to the tower of Ecthelion and when the beast arrived, many were blasted off towards the safety of the Shire. Unfortunately, again, the tower blew up the Shire and everyone in it.
And by the way, Frodo destroyed the ring but found that the rest of Middle Earth was destroyed already...
I wish Bombadill had given all the Hobbits Yellow boots!