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littlemanpoet · 12-01-2005, 01:47 PM

Three yellow vans pulled up to the side of the road, and out came a small horde of people carrying equipment that looked as if it must have been extracted from somebody's paranoid brain. The first van wore a big sign on its side, Blimmin' Barblecashing Corpulation. I man with bad teeth, messy greasy, slicked back hair, and a bulbous device in his hand, came up to Wilhelmina and Fléin and stuck the device to his mouth. Behind him was a one-eyed monster with a glass eye stuck on the shoulder of a Uruk-hai.

"Action, Roll!" said the man with bad teeth. "Welcome to 'Escape from Mordor', the reality program that features the Offending Party attempting to pass the impossible tests to defeat the anakronisms. What is your name?" The man stuck the bulbous thing in Wilhelmina's face; she gave her name, but protested that she had no time to be distracted by a reality show. The man shook his head gravely and produced an official looking document from his inner pocket, and wagged it in front of her face. It bore the seal of Anakron Istkon Vayor. "Sorry, deary, but we've a contract from the guv'ment saying that we have the right to film you. You're our star! Now come this way so we can get better lighting." The man with the bad teeth grabbed her arm and began forcibly escorting her away from the Dwarf.

The second van bore a sign reading Ridiculously Cacophonous Arsininity. From this van issued forth an individual that could only be understood to be a dude who thought more highly of himself than was warranted. He made a bee-line for Lord Mardil II.

"Hey dude, you wit' de chillin' name! Lord Mardil II! We got a contract all lined up for you to be de nex' rap star. You got de name and we got de fame!" The dude produced an official looking document, bearing the seal of Anakron Istkon Vayor. "Dis gives us de right to bring you straight to de studio an' get you goin' to stardom! Follow me!"

The third van, a very large one, with a sign reading Pretentious Blimcasting Corruption, vomited forth a party of menacing Trolls that quickly surrounded Valde Delego. "Greetings, good sir," said the lead Troll. "We are given to understand that thou art amongst those known as the Offending Party. Thou art our choice to take the lead role in our new play, Spamlet, about the tragedy of a failed attempt to escape from Mordor."

Valde tried to protest.

"Tut tut," said the troll in charge. "We are vested with full right and legality to apprehend thy great talent and produce this wonderful play." He produced an official looking document that bore the seal of Anakorn Istkon Vayor. "Thou wilt help us in the writing. Stage hands, apprehend our lead man!"

Valde was picked up by two trolls and deposited onto a fine litter before which was scrawled Lead Tragic Actor, and was carried into the van.

12-01-2005, 01:47 PM	#15
littlemanpoet Itinerant Songster Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Edge of Faerie Posts: 7,066	Three yellow vans pulled up to the side of the road, and out came a small horde of people carrying equipment that looked as if it must have been extracted from somebody's paranoid brain. The first van wore a big sign on its side, Blimmin' Barblecashing Corpulation. I man with bad teeth, messy greasy, slicked back hair, and a bulbous device in his hand, came up to Wilhelmina and Fléin and stuck the device to his mouth. Behind him was a one-eyed monster with a glass eye stuck on the shoulder of a Uruk-hai. "Action, Roll!" said the man with bad teeth. "Welcome to 'Escape from Mordor', the reality program that features the Offending Party attempting to pass the impossible tests to defeat the anakronisms. What is your name?" The man stuck the bulbous thing in Wilhelmina's face; she gave her name, but protested that she had no time to be distracted by a reality show. The man shook his head gravely and produced an official looking document from his inner pocket, and wagged it in front of her face. It bore the seal of Anakron Istkon Vayor. "Sorry, deary, but we've a contract from the guv'ment saying that we have the right to film you. You're our star! Now come this way so we can get better lighting." The man with the bad teeth grabbed her arm and began forcibly escorting her away from the Dwarf. The second van bore a sign reading Ridiculously Cacophonous Arsininity. From this van issued forth an individual that could only be understood to be a dude who thought more highly of himself than was warranted. He made a bee-line for Lord Mardil II. "Hey dude, you wit' de chillin' name! Lord Mardil II! We got a contract all lined up for you to be de nex' rap star. You got de name and we got de fame!" The dude produced an official looking document, bearing the seal of Anakron Istkon Vayor. "Dis gives us de right to bring you straight to de studio an' get you goin' to stardom! Follow me!" The third van, a very large one, with a sign reading Pretentious Blimcasting Corruption, vomited forth a party of menacing Trolls that quickly surrounded Valde Delego. "Greetings, good sir," said the lead Troll. "We are given to understand that thou art amongst those known as the Offending Party. Thou art our choice to take the lead role in our new play, Spamlet, about the tragedy of a failed attempt to escape from Mordor." Valde tried to protest. "Tut tut," said the troll in charge. "We are vested with full right and legality to apprehend thy great talent and produce this wonderful play." He produced an official looking document that bore the seal of Anakorn Istkon Vayor. "Thou wilt help us in the writing. Stage hands, apprehend our lead man!" Valde was picked up by two trolls and deposited onto a fine litter before which was scrawled Lead Tragic Actor, and was carried into the van. Last edited by littlemanpoet; 12-01-2005 at 01:52 PM.