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Q) Why are hobbits so short?
A) So they can fit through the doors of their hobbit-holes.
Q) Why don't hobbits wear shoes?
A) They like the squishy feeling they get when mud gets between their toes.
Q) How come Arwen and Elrond are brunettes but the other elves are blondes?
A) Pfft. Everyone knows that Legolas and Galadriel totally bleach.
Q) Why does Gandalf come back from the dead?
A) He wanted more screen-time than Boromir.
Q) Why do dwarves and elves hate each other?
A) There was a horrible hair-bleaching accident... We don't like talking about it.
Q) Who was that tall blonde dude who stands next to Galadriel in the first movie?
A) Her hair stylist.
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"Wide ne bith wel," cwaeth se the geheirde on helle hriman.
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