[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet

Scrap them and bring in someone whose name and history we recognize.

Easy enough to do. They were only really meant to show what was up with her on the road. It's tough to post for someone unconscious.

so, Elendil could be the attempted healer. We know who he is. If his healing attempt fails, that's greater drama.

Very true, though he's not there. Keep her alive until he arrives?

Kat needs to speak, needs to have a last moment with her parents, a time to bid farewell and speak of the hope to be reunited beyond the walls of the Arda.

I agree.

Describe what's happening rather than say it. Use the reader's senses.

I needed that.

I've got a few things to think on and then I'll give it a fresh shot.