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If we just take the statements we have about Eru in the text, do we find a loving merciful Creator or something else entirely? His behaviour & actions must be judged on what we know of Eru Himself, not on what we know/believe about the Christian God.
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Eru was patient with the disruptions of Melkor during the Music. Eru appears to be more interested in teaching Melkor than punishing him. The Ainur instantly “loved” the Children of Iluvatar when they first discovered them after the Music. I think it a reasonable assumption that a creator would not have put such feelings into the created unless the creator also possessed them. Without them existing in the creator, such things would not exist.
Eru had “compassion” on the desires of Aule and granted life to the dwarves (knowing that dwarves would be needed to lend some tone to the proceedings).
We know of two times when Eru is indicated as having used violence and killing in the world. He destroyed Numenor after centuries of warnings to prevent the Numenoreans from wrecking havoc in Valinor and probably discover all sorts of things they should not know (even though they could not become immortal). Eru killed Gollum after Gollum refused to repent and used Gollum to destroy the Ring, which Gollum would not have done willingly.
At a bare minimum Eru seems the unhasty sort. Treebeard would approve.