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Old 09-06-2005, 01:23 PM   #7
alatar
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alatar is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.alatar is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
First, I am surprised that Essex and I haven't been banned from such threads like this one ad vitam...

That being said, I would have to agree with and echo many of the posters thoughts in regards to what PJ didn't get right. My #1 peeve, as noted ad nauseum, is the mishandling of Gandalf's confrontation with the Witch-King. And, letting all of the comparisons between Tolkien's and PJ's Middle Earth aside, I would list the following items that irk me (abbreviated list, to be sure):

  • Dueling Nazgul - are these just people with swords dressed in black? Too clumsy to catch hobbits, too easy to scare with fire and swords - why exactly I am afraid?
  • Arwen at the Fords - if she wasn't there, the dreaded "She-elf" line couldn't have been uttered. "She-Elf, drop the He-Hobbit from the It-Horse." "Come and claim him, He-Wraiths!" Never realized that wraithdom made one overtly concerned with pronouns and gender identification...no wonder everyone feared the Nazgul.
  • Gandalf's lesser role as leader of the Fellowship. "Let's take the Ring to the Fords as all of this snow made me forget about being imprisoned by Saruman."
  • The "Stairs of Khazad-dûm" - could we have used our FOTR running time better? More Lothlorien please.
  • Most of TTT - Cliff-diving Aragorn, running dwarf running gags, eloping Eomer, Gandalf a rider for the Pony Express: white wizard division ("When your call to war absolutely, positively has to get there before the movie ends"), dreams of Arwen, etc.
  • Of special TTT note: Just how many of elves does it take to kill a few Uruks? See
    here and here for more frothed-mouth rantings.
  • More TTT: Ents. It takes them (seemingly) hours to say hello yet can change their minds and go to war with Saruman immediately after seeing some felled trees. Pretty inconsistent, and not very good shepherds either.
  • Saruman's fireball was just great. Would have been handy against Ents if they ever made up their minds to attack.
  • Legolas' concern for body count. This is my only explanation for 'capping' Grima. Hmmm...maybe that explains Aragorn's execution of MoS. "One! I'm already in the lead!"
  • Denethor the slob. If only the orcs had brought a spikey wheel with them as they entered the Minas Tirith, then the Steward could have died a fitting death.
  • Theoden's bonfire. It seemed a bit confusing that Theoden needed to see a fire on a hill to go to war. Couldn't Aragorn saved some movie minutes by having the Dynamic Duo go off and light the one that he sees? This would have saved us from watching Indiana "Pippin" Jones being watched by Gandalf the Fireless ("Sure wish they would have taught us that fireball spell back in Istari school.")
  • The Pirates of PJ-anze. This menacing bunch gave us more Dwarf and Elf show. Cheers on that. And "I produce, therefore I can act."
  • Gothmog.
  • What's a woman gotta do to get some recognition? "So you're Eowyn, Stewardess of Ithilien. It says here that you slew countless orcs during the Siege, took down some mumakil, single-handedly beheaded the Fell Beast and destroyed the biggest corporal non-spotlight baddy of the trilogy known as the Witch-King...okay, so what did you do after that?" She killed the WK, yet we had to have more, and so she flees from Gothmog. Is the word enough in PJ's vocabulary?
  • Osgiliath amphibious invasion. I wasn't sure if PJ were going for a reenactment of the landing at Normandy (6-June-1944) or the crossing of the Delaware (25-Dec-1776).
  • The Green Ghost Tide.

My fingers are running out of strength...
  • The Spotlight of Sauron.
  • CSI: Cirith Ungol. Watch tonight as everyone's favorite sidekick Sam finally figures out 'who done it' after examining lembas crumbs.

I'll quit now.

Anyway, before I get flamed, note that I appreciate PJ's work as it's better than anything I or anyone else has done. Without his movies I would still be wishing that someone somewhere would get the rights and make the movies - I'm too lazy. Great scenery, props, actors, effects, soundtrack, etc.
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Last edited by alatar; 09-06-2005 at 07:23 PM.
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