"Look, you block-headed Bracegirdles! No hands!"
OR
Bilbo prepares to do something he has always wanted to do: put his hands up to his ears and flap them in a barbaric fashion, while making rhude noises with his tongue, right before the eyes of all the gentlehobbits of the Shire. Little does he know that the Ring is not on his finger. His vacation quickly becomes extended.
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