Pippin: *SNEEZE* "Ewwww!"
OR
Pippin: "I can barely read this, and my eyes hurt. I think it says: 'Warning! Do not read this! May cause harmful stress to your eyes!'"
OR
Pippin: "It says take a left at the Black Gate?! That can't be right. Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"
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I'm on a Mission from God.
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