Quote:
The only forums to live on will be Mirth, by which time we will be addressing questions such as "Would the fellowship have succeeded if Gimli were a small apple pie?" (These would primarily have been created by the Barrow Wight after his lamentable descent into lunacy.)
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*assumes stuffy scholar voice* Clearly the Fellowship would have suffered a severe loss were Gimli a small apple pie, because undoubtedly he would have been consumed by Pippin early in the story. On the other hand Gimli is not commonly acknowledged as the most vital member of the Fellowship and therefore the Quest itself might not have been adversely affected. Some might say that one single orc Gimli might have slain could have killed Aragorn, thus effectively destroying the plot of the Lord of the Rings as we know it, and having Gimli around even in the form of a small apple pie would have kept the plot in order. I say to these naysayers, have you ever seen a small apple pie slay anyone? Granted, he could have thrown himself down the throat of an orc in a selfless display of heroics, and choked the creature to death. But even then he would have perished in the act, leaving us in precisely the same situation as before --
a Fellowship sans Gimli. What does this mean? "Even the wisest cannot tell."
See? We can still have [semi]serious discussion about silly things if we all assume stuffy scholar voices.