This Barrow-Downer's real name is...
Haven’t you caught yourself wondering if someone from the LotR movies, a known Tolkien scholar, or some other VIP comes to the Downs, unbeknownst to the rest of us? I have uncovered evidence of some who are masquerading behind their screen names to hide their true identity! Careful observation has led me to following conclusions:
The Saucepan Man's real name is… Peter Jackson! Why else would he so staunchly defend the movies in the face of all the opposition he gets? His lawyer mask is so convincing because he has had plenty of experience with law suits in securing the movie rights.
Bęthberry’s real name is… Madonna! She comes to the Downs when she wearies of the glamorous life of a star, admired only for her looks, in hopes of finding friends online who will like her for her personality. Her choice of nickname brought me to this conclusion – a singer who has changed identities so often would naturally choose to be a member of an enigmatic family specialized in song! And doesn’t it strike you as more than a coincidence that she began writing children’s books in real life after having gained RPG experience here?!
Mister Underhill’s real name is… Orlando Bloom! You didn’t think Orly could be so erudite, intelligent, and knowledgeable about the books? Well, his agent had to dumb him down; in order to get the role in LotR, he had to promise not to spoil his swoon image by scaring away the teenyboppers with utterances they don’t understand. Interestingly, his wonderful posts are now few and far between, alas! What gave this away to me? In his early, pre-movie days here on the Downs, he rashly admitted to “doing some occasional acting”.
the phantom’s real name is… Michael Martinez! He comes here secretly when he’s tired of his own learned treatises and wants to have fun on the Mirth forum. Transforming between these two guises has given him the knack for playing on the Werewolf games. What clued me in on this one? Well, MM just can’t completely shake off that ‘light’ touch of arrogance…
I shall continue my search for mystery identities and invite those who are interested to join in. Remember though, this is not the place for mere speculation! You must present conclusive evidence!!
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth.. .'
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