[Lush]

You're describing Varda as if she were some listless middle-class housewife with nothing better to do than spoiling her brats in between doing the laundry loads.

This is like comparing Tulkas to some tempramental heavyweight man-child and Nienna to a high-school outcast who forgot to take her Prozac.

Varda was a Valar, and each Valar served his or her own purpose in Tolkien's work. The Valar as a (forgive the corny word) team complimented each other and balanced each other's actions. They were individuals, each with his or her own sphere of influence, working toward similar purposes through different means.

And, having read the Sil twice, I cannot recall that Tolkien ever included some sort of nasty marital spat between Manwë and Varda, in which she defied something she was "supposed to agree with..." Tolkien never wrote much about the inner-workings of their marriage, and whether or not they threw dishes at each other, and such.