Special kudos to those who guess what movie(s) this is from, and more for those who can guess the character, or actor who played him.
Bilbo: You stabbed me! You stabbed me right in the side!...If you could toss me some anti-bacterial cream, the metal has gone through the skin...
Hint: Of course I've altered the wording to suit my own purposes, but for the most part the quote is from the movie(s).
Himt 2: No it is not from
Monty Python or
Princess Bride.
