Abercrombie
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And this is what my name has reduced me to... oh! the horror! the horror!
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at least you didn't choose 'Kurtz' as a name...
Malkatoj--You carry around at least one sword with you at all times, though you would prefer to have two. After you accidently cut your hair while playing with swords three times in a row you decided to solve the problem once and for all by getting rid of your head...after further thought however you decided that that wasn't the best of choices and just got a hair cut instead (which hair I don't know...there are too many to choose from...but I'm sure it looks lovely). You were recently put away for saying you were an emperor because some moistend bint had lobbed a scimitar at you (even though we all know that strange women laying on their backs in ponds handing over swords is no basis for a system of goverment and that supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses not from some farcical aquatic ceremony). You manged to escape though because you're a pirate and that's what pirates do...and the fact that you had help from a ninja named Alfred. Your favorite type of music is Rap...Esperanto Rap!
Encaitare--Well, I've been picturing you as your Ford Prefect avitar--mostly from lack of imagination--but since that picture was ruined for me the other day at school I now must picture you some other way, so here before the entire Barrowdowns I'll create the NEW YOU! (aren't you excited?...nervous?...putting on your pair of Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic peril Sensitive Sunglasses?)
You as well as reading poetry (Vogon or otherwise) attempt to write your own. Furthermore you insist on reading it to anyone who will listen and your house usually resounds with your shouts of
"Purple rose the sun one night
with a lovely greenish-brownish light
as penguins falling from the sky
learned, too late, they could not fly"
or
"Garbled flowers, moustached mouse,
poor petunia and thinking whale
such shall ne'er see my house
or hear this lovely rhyming tale"
because of the above described behaviour you're usually left homealone.
Physically you're very thin and aery. While not actually being small you always give the impression of being some lost faery, correction, some lost mischievous faery. Because you've always been seen as small and unimortant you tend to stand up for the little guys...and if that's not good enough you stand on their shoulders and shout--which ususally gets someones attention. You have long-ish light brown hair, bright and happy eyes (one blue one green) and a pair of fake vampire teeth you wear every single day (and polish before every visit to the dentist).
Enjoy! (or not...what with free-will and all...)