1) Well, first I'd hop quickly to the BarrowDowns to see what advice I could get in two-point-five seconds, and then I'd turn on my iTunes visual effects to hypnotize them, and while that was happening I'd sneak out the back door.
2) I would bribe them with raw cookie dough. Then hope they get salmonella
really quickly.
3) Wake up.
4) Grab my BB gun and...fire off two shots before I die.
5) Get them involved in the Balrog Wing debate. After all, wouldn't some of them have seen/not seen wings?
6) Blast some Korn or Disturbed at them...woo, look at 'em run!
7) Start some "drums in the deep" of my own.
8) Tell them the Barrow-Wight thinks that they're off topic. (
)
9) Tell them that the general concensus is that them being on MY doorstep is non-canonical.
10) Wonder if this will interfere with my visits to the BD's...