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was Aragorn's act out of his character
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Probably not for movie-Aragorn. When I saw it I was a bit surprised, but only because I didn't expect the action itself (in other words, I wasn't surprised that it was Aragorn that did it, I was just surprised that tMoS got decapitated in the first place).
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After all there are those who think him pompous in the book, aren't there?
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What? That's never even occurred to me. Where does that opinion come from? Aragorn never struck me as arrogant in the books.
I realize that arrogant can be rearranged to spell Aragorn T (T for Telcontar), but that's not a good enough reason for me.
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and did he break the rules of war (killing a messenger)?
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Typical rules don't apply to Sauron and his forces.
Sauron is not a country that Gondor is having a land dispute with. Sauron is embodied evil and he's trying to take over the world. He rarely makes deals, and when he does he never keeps his end (see Gorlim in Beren's story).
If Gondor was fighting Harad then Aragorn would be expected to keep his sword away from the messenger’s neck, but when you're dealing with Sauron- almost anything goes.