Baran and Willie - You do bring up a good point. If Sam had been "kinder" or at least more trusting of Gollum, would he have led Shelob to them? After all, he did use Sam's "nastiness" as a rationalization to call the spider down upon them.
But in the end the lure of the Ring would have been too much for him, no matter how kind Frodo was to him. If nothing else, he would have grown to resent Frodo's pity, as people who are pitied often do. A case of "no good deed goes unpunished", so to speak.
Frodo's kindness does seem to have had one effect. Gollum didn't try to kill him outright when they got to Mt. Doom. He "only" wanted to take the Ring.
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