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Gandalf: I'm sorry Frodo, for you to get to Mordor before the second Tuesday of next week, we're gonna need to make some adjustments.
Gandalf walks over to cart and pulls out giant bottle rocket.
Gandalf: Just duck tape this to your back and you'll be there faster than a fish out of water.
Frodo: But Gandalf I don't want to....
Gandalf: Oh Frodo quit being and sissy and get over here.
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And when this life is over... and I stand before the God... I'll dream I'm back here standing in my nowhere land of Oz.....
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