[Estelyn Telcontar]

Upon reading the Silmarillion and Unfinished Tales, I have been pondering on marriages that Tolkien writes about. How are they described? What makes the difference between a good and a poor, even catastrophic, marriage? On this thread, let’s look at the positive examples; I will start another with the negative ones.
One very interesting good marriage is that of Melian and Thingol, written about in The Silmarillion. Melian was a Maia who left Valinor to live in Middle-earth. Elwë, lord of the Teleri (elves) heard her singing and was enchanted for years; she became his wife and Queen, since he later became King of the Sindar and was called Thingol. Together, they built a kingdom that lasted long as a refuge against evil. Melian lent Thingol great power, which she had as a Maia, and counseled him with great wisdom, so that he was a mighty and wise ruler. Luthien Tinuviel, most beautiful of all Children of Iluvatar, was their daughter.
What made their marriage good?
First thing that springs to mind is that it was a marriage of unequals, a Maia and an Elf. But they not only loved each other, they respected one another’s abilities. Thingol learned from Melian’s wisdom and took her counsel. She did not try to rule, but taught with wisdom, recognizing his abilities as a ruler. She did not deny her power and capabilities to try to be like him, but enhanced him and raised him up to greater heights than he could have achieved alone. They had a common goal, building their kingdom, and reached that goal together.
Mutual love, respect and a goal to be reached together are the aspects I have found in studying their marriage. I would like to hear what others consider important about Melian and Thingol, then we can go on to other good marriages of Middle-earth.