To answer the first question with a quote which I (intended to, but) failed to give:
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The view is that the Half-elven have a power of (irrevocable) choice, which may be delayed but not permanently, which kin's fate they will share.
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Here Tolkien says it was irrevocable. Irrevocable is defined as incapable of being recalled or revoked; unchangeable; irreversible; unalterable; as, an irrevocable promise or decree; irrevocable fate.
Tinuviel: That is a common misconception. Elrond is descended from both men and elves, and his family is known as 'half-elven' because of that.
Prior to his parents, Earendil and Elwing, anyone with any mortal blood was considered mortal and would die as a man would. With Earendil and Elwing's accomplishments, they (along with their sons) were granted the choice of mortality or immortality.
Elrond chose immortality, of course, and he married an elf - Galadriel's daughter - who gave birth to Arwen. Arwen was thus half-elven too because of Elrond's portion of mortal blood. She was a half-elf - not an elf. When she made her decision, she picked mortality. She was never immortal - it was just decided that she would age like the Eldar did until she decided which fate she would suffer.
Tolkien explicitly states that half-elves are not the same as elves in Letter No. 345:
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Arwen was not an elf, but one of the half-elven who abandoned her elvish rights.
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[ March 29, 2003: Message edited by: Legolas ]