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The Elves tragedy is shown most clearly in the efforts they have to make to contribute anything - even thinking like Men is an effort, because they have to adopt a mindset which is not in any way natural to them.
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I think
davem has hit on an important point here. Elves cannot fully understand Men, just as Men cannot fully understand Elves. Arwen says it well at Aragorn's death, I think:
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"But I say to you, King of the Númenoreans [Aragorn], not til now have I understood the tale of your people and their fall. As wicked fools I scorned them, but I pity them at last. For if this is indeed, as the Eldar say, the gift of the One to Men, it is bitter to receive."
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.