In an orc slaying contest between Turin and Hurin Hurin wins in a landslide because orcs, as we know, seem to always flee from Turin and his black sword. By the time Turin has chased down a few, his daddy has killed seventy or so. But Turin redeems himself by defeating his father in an orc scaring contest. He is rewarded with a long, steamy victory-kiss from his sister.
In a talking contest between Glaurung and Smaug, Smaug takes an early lead with idle chatter and small-talk, but Glaurung proves he's the dragon-daddy and busts out with some nasty curses and fiendish put-downs. But Smaug evens the score in a flying contest. From just high enough to be out of range of Glaurung's fiery breath, Smaug taunts the wingless dragon- "You're an out-dated model!"..."Real dragons have wings!"... and of course "Attercop!" and "Tomnoddy!"
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